Reciprocal Mentorship and Mutual Growth
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse follows Miles Morales becoming Spider-Man in true origin story fashion. He is thrown into a world he doesn’t understand with new abilities he understands even less. Enter, Peter Parker… from another universe. I won’t get into the details. However, I will say Peter Parker has lost his way. He isn’t the Peter Parker we would recognize. His relationships have suffered, he lost what was close to him, and he struggles to be Spider-Man due to the depression we see on-screen.
Miles and Peter meet through a fated encounter, with Miles learning from Peter what it means to be Spider-Man. Miles learns to use his abilities from him and also through meeting Gwen Stacy, Spider-Woman. They model for him what it means to be Spider-Man, showing him how their abilities are used and when he shows that he may not be up to the challenge, they motivate him to push further than he ever thought possible.
However, Miles was not the only one going through the Hero’s Journey. While Miles was learning what it means to be Spider-Man in his universe, Peter was re-discovering what it meant for him to be Spider-Man and to save the relationships with those he cared about. He learned how to be present for others again through doing so for Miles. Miles taught him how to be Spider-Man again and have the relationships with those he cared about by being honest about what he wanted in life.
They saved each other. The relationship between Miles and Peter shows that mentorship does not always have to be a one-sided relationship. This is an example of what it means to be a part of a reciprocal mentorship.
We often think of mentorship as one person having all the answers, them being the only one to impart knowledge in the relationship. This operates under the assumption that the mentor has successfully completed their journey and now guides the mentee to walk the path they did. The mentee, in turn, completes their journey and has the potential to mentor someone else.
I see this in my work as an addiction counselor. Many individuals working in the recovery field have navigated their journey in recovery, having gotten to a point where they now feel comfortable in guiding others. Taking it a step further, Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous have sponsors; individuals providing support and sharing with others how they maintain their sobriety.
One-sided mentorships assume that the guiding influence has no more room to grow. The mentor may think that since their mentee is still at a point in the journey they have already navigated, they themselves have nothing to learn. Therefore, they dismiss the idea of learning from the individuals they guide.
They also risk forcing a particular identity onto others. At times, there is the belief that others must walk the path just as they did. The complexity of decisions on the journey is unreasonably minimized. Forks in the road are ignored under the assumption that alternate choices lead to failure.
However, mentorship falters when someone is expected to uphold what doesn’t work for them.
The Hero’s Journey doesn’t simply end. Identity does not transform once and stay set in stone. A mentor does not have all the answers. Nor do they fully understand the unique experiences of the individuals they guide.
Joseph Campbell, in his study of world mythology, identified that the hero would continuously encounter cycles of death and rebirth of their identity. The hero would be changed by the trials before them and will never be the same person at the end of their journey as they were at the beginning.
With this cycle of symbolic death and rebirth in mind, consider the path of the Hero’s Journey. Many people think of it as one linear path. The common belief is that the hero embarks on their journey, is changed by their experience, and then returns to the home they left to share the gift. The return home is viewed as the end of the story.
Returning to share the gift with others is not simply the end of their journey, it is the beginning of the next. The gift being shared is inherently the next call to adventure. A different sort of adventure, but an adventure, nonetheless.
A college student completing their school journey through graduation now faces their next journey of career seeking. A parent completing their initial journey through their children leaving home is now tasked with discovering their identity now that their children do not live with them. An individual in recovery completing treatment encounters their next call to adventure in returning to environments that once made sobriety difficult.
The above scenarios are only a few examples; the Hero’s Journey takes different forms based on the individual’s life experiences. What is important for this concept in relation to this article is that a mentor in any relationship is often on their own journey while guiding another on theirs. They continue to grow while fostering growth in others.
We are constantly shaped through our interactions with others and discover meaning through these experiences. It is impossible to know everything. If the mentor is open to learning, they may still learn from their mentee. Their leadership style has the ability to improve. Some rediscover why the journey held meaning in the first place. Beneficial aspects of the identity or personal narrative created through their own journey may be reinforced. By being open to learning and acknowledging others have more to teach them, they prevent stagnation.
If you find yourself to be the mentor, you may always learn from those you mentor. In a proper mentorship, both journeys are enhanced. Each individual contributes to the identity formation of the other. The roles between the two are different, but they both walk the heroic path.